It takes as long as it takes…
In my humble 32 years of existence, I learned one major lesson: as we evolve, our dreams do too. We cannot hang on to one dream only, and that sooner or later, we will have to let go of it. And this lesson came in 2 parts: an easy one: the realization that our dreams are our compass; they will guide us, push us towards a better tomorrow, and mostly give us hope to keep on believing. The second part, the harder one, is that it’s not easy to find our dream yet find a new one and have the courage to let go of the previous one. Because most of the time, the one dream that we fought for and struggled to find for years will consume us, excite us, bring us up, but also tear us down, and the more we will fight for it, the harder it will be to let go of it. That’s at least my personal experience and those of 100 people I have interviewed over the last 7 years. So along those many years, I enjoyed on planet earth, I was lucky enough to question my dreams and move on to new ones. Some were harder than others to let go of, but eventually, I succeeded, and it helped me to learn three things:
Know when to give it all
As long as it takes, I will keep moving forward. Lesson number one.
I started basketball when I was 7, and all the odds were against me to be a basketball player. Truth be told, I didn’t even know I wanted to be a basketball player, nor did I know what it meant or involved, but soon enough, I was confronted with some challenges related to my short height. Everyone considered that I should make it a hobby during primary school and then find something more appropriate for my height. The first time I was put aside was when I was 9, and it hurt really bad to be excluded because of something I had no control over, which is my height! I cried, felt ashamed, and was determined more than ever to stay in the team. I did everything, from giving it my best on the court, arriving first and leaving last, helping the coach with setting the equipment, and picking them up when we were done.
I was thinking that if I am always there, always friendly and helpful, people will start noticing me, and they did! My hard work paid off. A coach that later became a father figure helped me stay on the team and even made me a better player. However, my height was indeed a real problem, so I had to work twice as hard as the others to compensate for being short. So my ultimate goal was to be the fastest and jump as high as possible. And this crusade went on for almost 10 years.
10 years is the time that it took me to prove myself to everyone and earn my place in the team, and even to become the captain of the juniors and a member of the seniors. Along the way, I won several titles, whether sitting on the bench or actively contributing to the success. Trust me, I never failed to go the extra mile to help my team. I would be the loudest person, whether on the court or the bench. I would sweat and bleed and only rest when my legs give out. And yet, I would keep on screaming to cheer those who could still give more. The last three years of my basketball career were bliss but also an epiphany; I was still enjoying but not necessarily driven by the same passion and will. Until one day, I felt I was reaching the end of my dream of becoming a basketball player. I have lived that dream for 15 years and almost felt all the emotions that this sport offers. I also started to grow up and notice the world around me that showed me that life is not only about basketball. And lastly, which is equally important, a new generation of young and talented players who all had the same dream as me 15 years ago were also fighting for their position and were destined to take my place. And because I gave it all to the game that made me, I was at peace with myself with the decision of moving on.
Failure does not lead to success.
By that time, I was in university and already joined an organization called AIESEC which eventually became my new dream.
Coming from the world of basketball, I had a very competitive spirit. I was competing with everyone and mostly with myself. I wanted to be the best in something new, and I was determined to be noticed by other members. Roughly 1000 AIESECers from different regions of the country.
I joined the Outgoing exchange team, meaning helping people find professional and volunteering internships abroad. And I made it my personal objective to send as many people as possible abroad and break any records that my local committee ever achieved. And I succeeded.
It even became an obsession and an ego boost. The more people I helped to land their dream opportunity, the better I felt. I wanted more and more of this feeling, so I kept competing with the numbers and trying to push my ranking up.
After three years within the organization and one term as vice president of my local committee, I decided to run for president. I nicely crafted my election speech and showed up on the day of the general assembly, hoping and feeling that I will be the next president. I had the best results and the best plans for my committee to get even higher numbers. And that was my first hard failure. Not only was I not elected, but it was obvious to everyone that I didn’t deserve it. Digesting that first failure wasn’t easy, but eventually, I moved on as a new opportunity came along, which was to become a national vice president responsible for exchange students.
I took on the position and went all in all over again with the same goal, to increase the numbers and do a better job than those who held the position before me. And I succeeded. I achieved the best results that AIESEC in Tunisia achieved in years and thought that I earned my right this time to apply for president of the national committee, and so I did only fail again. My application wasn’t even accepted by the president at that time, who was my best friend. I recall, he told me, you are not ready to lead a team until you care more about the people rather than the numbers. I have to admit this failure was harder to digest than the first one, but I couldn’t give up on my new dream to become a president.
I got another opportunity to become a national vice president of AIESEC in France, and that’s how I arrived in my adoptive country.
This time, I have learned a thing or two from my previous mistakes and wanted to make sure to not screw up. I started my term with the same goal and dream but with a different approach. I wanted to care about the team and live the human experience that AIESEC has to offer. The year went by, and I succeeded in implementing new things and achieving some wonderful results. But mostly, I was close to many members and especially my team. Then, that time of the year where applications for the president position were open came by. And I jumped on this opportunity. I wrote down the best application I have ever made. And went to that election with all the rage and will to get elected. Spoiler alert. I didn’t.
And this time, it was worse than any failure I have ever experienced. And to be honest, I didn’t know how to overcome this one. I remember sitting in my hotel room and questioning everything I did for the last five years in the organization. I even started questioning my dream! Was it the right dream? Did I waste five years chasing the wrong one? The answers were no and yes.
It was definitely not the right dream; I somehow believed that being a president of an AIESEC entity would bring all the satisfaction and fulfillment I needed. But it did not. And I ended up chasing the wrong dream for five years.
However, something beautiful came out of this experience. All the kindred souls and amazing people I have met. All the wonderful countries I visited and all the life-changing conversations I have held. Those five years chasing the wrong dream led me to become a more open-minded person, a more curious one, and hopefully a better man. Realizing all of that helped me understand one fundamental lesson. Failure didn’t lead me to success but to richness. The richness of the mind and the soul that I could never buy.
I came out of those five years more fulfilled and with a clearer vision of how to find a new dream. And my philosophy was simple before settling for one dream and deciding to chase it. I have to try and reflect. An exercise I have never practiced until I hit rock bottom.
So I started applying for jobs in different fields, and I have failed so many interviews that failure became a source of reflection and a dream checklist. Every failure taught me what I did wrong and what I didn’t like. But also what excited me the most.
I then started to land some jobs. The first was as a headhunter in the pharma industry. I stayed three months and realized that it’s not what I wanted to do. And God knows how I found the courage, but I quit. For the first time ever, I said no to something I didn’t want to do. I moved to the second job working for a business school, and after five months, I quit. And this became my new philosophy. Know when to quit when I am not as excited about the job as I was about basketball.
In less than five years, I ended up quitting 4 jobs. And it might sound easy or that it doesn’t require much courage. But it actually is, especially when you are running on a resident permit and you are obliged to have a job in order to renew it.
Trust your instinct, embrace your losses.
The last 10 years have been a great source of learning, and it taught me mostly two things:
Know when to give it all
Know when to quit.
And that’s why my last experience at Wemanity was particularly hard when I decided to quit. I loved most of the people there, I loved my job, but somehow I felt I didn’t belong there anymore. I felt that I had a new dream. I needed to go chase and find out if I really wanted to realize it.
And the approach was again different. I had the chance to enroll in an executive MBA at École des Ponts Business School. And I decided to use this opportunity to test it and trigger my instinct. I needed to know whether I was ready to chase that new dream of mine or not.
I started the executive MBA, and I started absorbing all the learnings and theories that I was missing. I also started testing the idea of my new dream. Which was to finally take the leap of faith and start my own company. Something I have always felt I was meant to do but never had the courage.
The idea I had for my company was a project of gathering people and creating a learning space where we can share, learn, discover, and mostly evolve. It took me nine months to know that I was ready to jump on an entrepreneurial adventure and eight months to actually launch my company. Yes, I know what you are thinking, it’s a lot of time I must have taken it slow. Well, to be honest, yes. I really wanted to avoid failing right at the beginning. I wanted to study my project carefully and to understand what are my chances to succeed. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that I won’t fail. I just wanted to avoid the mistakes that 90% of failing startups make; not analyze, test, and pivot their business idea before going live.
The executive MBA gave me both the tools I needed to work on the theory part of my business and the resources to test and work on improving it.
And 18 months later, I was ready to start building my passion project, House of Ichigo. And the first task was to buy a house in the countryside. In the beginning, I thought it was gonna be easy since I took all my time to do things right. But soon enough, I stumbled upon the first barrier; Our loan was rejected by the bank because I didn’t have a permanent job (CDI). I said “We” because along the way, someone who trusted me and became an important part of my life decided to join me in this adventure.
Not getting the loan was soul-crushing. Everything was ready, we found the “perfect” house, and we had prepared everything for the launch of our company. I remember that day, we had a call at 8:30 in the morning to notify us that the bank denied our request. I was teaching at Parsons at 10 Am. First, I cried, then got ready and went to teach. Then, once the class was over, I sat in a cafe and thought of every possible solution to make it work. Spoiler alert. It didn’t.
So what do you do when you fall that hard? Well, you stand up, you wipe your tears, and you get back at it!
And that’s what we did, a few months later we found this time the dream House! We got the loan, and we moved in!
And nothing would be possible without the help of my partner Julie! Really nothing! This leads me to my final lesson from this experience. It’s actually more a piece of advice I got from my former mentor and boss at Wemanity. He said: “Never start a project by yourself because when it gets lonely, it can bring you down and make you give up.” and thank God, I haven’t started it by myself. Because beyond the professional project, it became a life journey worth sharing with someone you care for.
So allow me to put an end to this long self-centered story of mine, that I truly hope you will get one or two things out of it.
The best advice I have is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and reach out for help. Whether it’s on social media, by phone, or by email, all roads lead to Rome. You just need to reach out to people, and you will be amazed by how willing they will be to help, even strangers. Actually, especially strangers! And I will make sure to publish a note to thank every single person who contributed to our project.
And since it’s my birthday, allow me to share with you my wishes for myself and everyone around me:
When it gets hard, I wish you to become stronger. When it gets scary, I wish you to become tougher. When you get lost, I hope you will learn how to trust and find yourself. When you feel empty, I wish you to believe in yourself. When it gets dark, I wish you to become the light. When you are on the edge, ready to fall again, I wish you to remember why you have to get back on your feet. Touching the bottom can be a blessing. It will keep you moving forward. It doesn’t matter how hard you get hit, how bad it feels, or how hurtful it will be. The only thing that matters is to pick yourself up again, and again and again. I wish you to never give up fighting because that’s how fighters are made, that’s how stories are written, and that’s how the light is spread. Keep fighting until no fight can stop you. Keep moving forward until you reach your destination, keep believing in yourself until everyone believes in you. Keep shining until everyone sees the light. Don’t take a no for an answer, and most importantly, never compromise your values.
No matter what, keep in mind that it’s not about how far you get; it’s about choosing the right path! Your path!
It takes as long as it takes, just make sure that your dreams are bigger than your fears.
